


Runaway

by orphan_account



Series: Co-Generals [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen, Post-TRoS, another Poe character study tbh, because he's a very sad man, who just needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:34:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22179391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In the midst of rebuilding a galaxy; Poe returns home.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn, Shara Bey & Poe Dameron
Series: Co-Generals [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1603942
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	Runaway

"Get some rest, General. There'll be more paperwork to sift through tomorrow bright and early I'm sure" Rose told him with a slightly sympathetic smile.

Poe sighed and rubbed his eyes, frown increasing at just the thought of that.

He gave Rose a smile, "I guess you're right. It is pretty late," he said.

He stood up and stretched his back. He was unable to identify what cracks and pops were coming from where. For years he sat in the cramped cockpit of an X-Wing, but for whatever reason his new fancy officer chair seems to give him more pain.

Rose chuckled, "Maybe also a trip to the Med Bay first?" she teased.

Poe laughed, a real belly laugh, as he gathered his things and headed towards her by the door. He slapped a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm not as young as I used to be, Tico," he looked her closer and noticed the growing bags under her eyes. He squeezed her shoulder, "you should head to bed too," he said.

The woman stood up a little taller, seemingly embarrassed that she gave away how tired she was.

Poe bit his cheek, "I mean it. Eight hours, not a minute less, that's a direct order from your superior, Captain," he said.

Rose bit back a smile as she nodded, she gave him a mock salute, "yes sir, General Dameron, sir," she said.

He returned the half-hearted salute with full sincerity as he started to walk towards his quarters.

As he walked he looked around his surroundings. They were in a real building. With real walls and windows that wasn't hidden away in a cave or covered by forest vegetation.

They were out in the open for all to see. First Order destroyed. The Resistance won. This was a time to rebuild and strengthen a galaxy that had been torn apart for so long.

Poe stopped walking and perched himself onto a ledge. His new favorite spot. It sat on a wide and beautiful window that faced the ship dock. He watched all different kinds of ships take off into the sky and jump through the atmosphere.

Sometimes he just couldn't help the way he would critique the landings of some and the takeoffs of others. Perhaps it was pretentious, but it's not like anyone could read his mind.

They’ve been on Naboo for a few months now. The navy thought it’d be as good a place as any to start the rebuild. This history the planet held within its structure brought a sense of hope and healing to its people and surrounding planets. Plus it already had the resources they needed to start anew and it was close to the New Senate. A little too close for Poe’s liking.

Not many know the truth of what happened on Exogol; about Palpatine being alive. Everyone that was there, and survived, thought it’d be better that way. He just hoped that that was a secret that would stay buried.

After what felt like hours, Poe heard beeps from below him as he looked to see his faithful orange and white ball roll towards him. He smiled at the droid.

"Hey, buddy," he paused, "hey hey I know I'm sorry. I was going honest," he stopped; more beeping. The tone of distress Beebee-Ate emitted was comical, but Poe dare not laugh at his droids expense. "I'm sorry-No I'm fine-No I know," he couldn't believe he was getting scolded about his bedtime by a two foot tall droid.

He couldn't believe he was in a position where the biggest concern in his life right now was getting enough sleep.

He climbed off the ledge and continued his journey, this time Beebee-Ate right on his heels as if trying to motivate him to walk faster.

Finally, he reached his quarters. The heavy door squeaked open and Poe walked inside. Beebee-Ate instantly rolled to his charging station and beeped a 'good night' before he shut down. The man rolled his eyes, "so you just needed me to unlock my room, huh," he said.

Poe changed quickly and laid down in bed, but sleep never came. He spent another night staring at the ceiling while he thought about everything he had to do the next day.

When he was approached by his old superiors in the Navy to help rebuild Poe hesitated at first. A part of him just wanted to retire like his parents did. Leave the life he's led behind and start fresh somewhere new, or even just go back home to Yavin 4.

He smiled at the thought. It's been years since he touched down there. Felt the earth of the rich rain forests at his feet; smelled the wet wood and decaying leaves. He felt called to it, especially now, but even then…

He thought about his mother and father and how they never seemed to never hesitate when faced with the choice of helping others or leaving it to someone else. It always seemed so easy for them, but now Poe thought maybe it wasn’t. It sure wasn’t for him.

He tossed and turned another one hundred times before he finally drifted off to sleep that was probably at the most ten minutes. 

Beebee-Ate whirled to life as he greeted Poe with chirps. He gave back a slight groan in response. He pulled the covers over his head, willing himself for just five more minutes.

There was a knock at the door and Poe groaned even louder which caused a laugh to escape from whoever was outside the door.

He opened it to see Finn standing there, eyebrow perched up in question.

"Sleep well?" He asked.

Poe slumped his shoulders, "As well as I could, buddy. So what do I owe this little visit?" he asked.

Finn smiled like he knew something Poe didn't, "well we do have that meeting with the ambassador from Taris soon. Like in about five minutes," he said.

Poe's eyes went wide and Beebee-Ate sounded like he was scolding him. Poe turned to the droid, "you could've said something sooner, pal," he said in distress. He turned back to Finn, "give me a sec. you go on ahead. Go stall or something. I'll be there soon," he said flustered.

Finn's eyes gleamed with amusement as he nodded his head, "you got it, General," he said.

Poe all but slammed the door in his face as he rushed to get suitable clothes on. A quick look in the mirror to gain some control of his hair back and he looked as good as new.

Beebee-Ate chirped and snapped Poe back into action, "you know your attitude could use a little update I think," he said as they moved to the conference room.

Before the droid could chirp back the two were being greeted and introduced to the ambassador by Finn and thus the meeting began.

It was a basic meeting, as political ones go. Poe didn't have much experience in them before now. Sure he'd sit in on most military personnel meetings and offer advice and strategy,

But politics were a whole different game.

Ambassadors from all over have been coming to them asking for aid. Or very 'kindly' not asking for aid. It was all one big walk on eggshells around it all as everyone was still getting used to not being in a war. Poe's skin was crawling at this point.

He was a pilot above anything else and he's been pretty much grounded since taking this position. There was no battle to fight and the pilots in training had their own instructor. He's tried to butt in on a few classes to provide his expertise, but he's been "needed" elsewhere every time.

Maybe this is why he couldn't sleep. He was so...uncomfortable with it all. The cushy position, the damn sense of security. Everything felt safe. And good.

A stark contrast from the past years he spent with the Resistance. When he slept on literal rock beds or even in the cockpit of his X-Wing while he laid low during a recon mission. 

His joints ache again as he and Finn did their ceremonious goodbyes to the ambassador. Finn gripped his shoulder, “Well that went on about three hours longer than it needed to,” he said.

Poe laughed, “That’s politics.”

Something in Finn’s expression gave Poe pause. The man was looking at him like he wanted to say something but didn’t.

“What’s up, buddy,” Poe said as he tried to play off the suddenly tense feeling in the air.

“Oh, uh, nothing,” Finn stammered. Poe was unconvinced, “It’s just...are you okay?”

They started to walk out the door together, but Poe slowed his pace at the question as he was caught off guard. He tried to hide it though as he replied coolly, “Not you too,” he started, Finn looked alarmed, “I’m fine. It’s nothing, just sore is all. Maybe my body’s just still not used to sleeping in a real bed after so long,” he joked.

Finn wasn’t convinced, there was a look in his eye that Poe knew meant he wasn’t accepting that as an answer. “I know I’m still learning how to...work with the Force but, Poe,” he stopped the man beside him again and grabbed his arm. The two now stood in the middle of the large hallway, “something seems off balance with you.”

Both of their faces twisted at that sentence, like neither could believe the words coming out of Finn’s mouth. “You’re speaking like a Jedi now, General? Is this how the force works?” Poe asked; he tried to lighten the mood that fell on them. As if on cue Finn went to speak again before Poe shot him down, “Look, Finn, I’m fine. I’m just not used to it yet. I’d never expected to be…”

“Leia’s replacement,” Finn said matter-of-factly, before his face squeezed again, “sorry, I didn’t mean to be so blunt I-Poe I don’t know.”

They started walking again. Poe smiled at him as one last ditch to hopefully leave this conversation behind. It’s not like he didn’t want to be forthright with Finn, it’s just that he didn’t know _what_ was wrong. Why he was feeling the way he was, and he wasn’t about to talk the ear off to his well-intentioned friend and co-general as he tried to figure it out.

No matter how much he wanted to.

“Finn it’s okay. I’m really fine. Trust me,” Poe said.

Finn still looked unconvinced but he nodded and Poe breathed a sigh of relief. Bullet successfully dodged.

“Well Rose is waiting with lunch for us, I told her we’d probably need it after that,” Finn said, waving his arms around for emphasis.

They walked past the window Poe sat at the night before and he caught sight of an A-Wing leaving. He stopped and observed.

It was a much newer model than the one his mother had, but the basic features were still there. Poe smiled in remembrance.

And that’s when the realization hit.

He didn’t belong here; not right now anyway.

He looked back at Finn who didn’t seem to notice he even stopped at all and ran back up to him. The gears in his head turned as he planned what to do next.

The rest of the day went by uneventful. Poe shifted through more paperwork while trying to keep his heart rate steady. Only a few more hours.

He said his goodnights to Finn and Rose and various other people he passed by on the way to his quarters.

When inside he took out the bag from under his bed and started at it for probably too long before he gathered a miscellaneous pile of clothes and shoved them in.

He walked out and headed towards the Docking Bay, careful not to disturb anyone.

He entered the large space and immediately recognized his X-Wing, it was covered half-hazordly by a piece of cloth, but he knew it was his.

He ran up to it and removed the cover. He smiled like a child when he saw her in all her glory again.

“Oh I missed you my girl,” he whispered, running a hand across the nose of it.

He through his bag up into the cockpit and began to do any pre-flight ground checks. It’s been a while since she flew, but Poe knew she was in good shape.

“Poe?” a voice from behind him asked. Poe paused and cursed before he turned around to face Finn.

“What are you doing up?” Poe asked.

“You’re not as quiet as you think you are,” Finn answered.

Poe winced and shrugged as he walked towards the man, unsure of what to do. He felt like a kid getting caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to.

“What are you doing?” Finn asked, his eyes fixed on the X-WIng.

“Finn I…” he paused, “there’s just...something I need to do.”

Finn stood, arms crossed like he was waiting for more information. When none came, he sighed, “How long will you be gone?”

Poe’s eyes widened, “Not long, a couple days maybe?”

“Can I not come with you?” Finn asked.

Poe smiled at the slight blush that formed on his friend’s cheeks. In turn, he suspected, caused heat to rise to his own. He placed a hand on Finn’s shoulder and squeezed.

“Not this time, buddy,” he said, “besides, the whole reason I made you co-general was so you can take care of the shit I don’t want to, right?”

Finn laughed and rolled his eyes, “evidently,” a serious tone fell and then again, Finn grabbed the wrist of Poe’s hand that fell on his shoulder and squeezed, “just be safe,’ he said.

Poe removed his hand and winked, “aren’t I always? Take care of Beebee for me too, will ya?”

Before Finn could tell him the inaccuracies of that statement, Poe was off back to his X-Wing. He opened the hanger door and got his ship into position.

There was a buzzing all throughout his body. As he turned on the engine.

As he lifted off the ground he let out a scream of relief. He zoomed into the atmosphere, the weight of everything lifted off his shoulders the higher and higher he got.

His trip was long but he didn’t mind it. It gave him time to prepare himself for what he was about to do. He was nervous but excited as he got closer and closer to the Outer Rim.

Memories came flooding back as he looked down at Yavin 4. It looked the same on the outside the greens of the treetops mixed with the pockets of blue from the seas. Poe’s breath hitched as he got closer.

There was no telling what would be waiting for him when he touched down. He expected the worst, that his home somehow collapsed under the First Order. He tried to keep tabs when in the Resistance but everything got mixed up in the fighting he lost contact. Nevertheless the Outer Rim was a pretty secluded region, he hoped that was enough.

He took a breath once he landed to steady himself one more time before he took off his helmet and lifted the lid of his cockpit.

The smell hit him and it made him want to cry. Overwhelmed by his senses his knees wobbled as he hit the ground. He leaned onto his ship for support.

He felt silly being this affected by it, but at the same time it reminded him of all he’d lost, so he forgave himself for getting emotional.

Once he got his bearings again he headed towards his destination.

He didn’t know where to start. He landed in the dead of night on an unsanctioned landing pad. It was one he used when he was still learning how to fly and didn’t exactly have his pilot crediantles yet. He smiled; thankfully for the muscle memory.

He held his flashlight as he tried to navigate. He looked for any sign of familiarity until he saw it.

It was huge now. It glowed a bright blue and engulfed the surroundings trees with a light that could only come from one source.

He picked up his pace and headed towards the light. He stopped short and took in the rest of the setting. His heart dropped.

Surrounding the booming tree of light was an abandoned house.

His house.

The windows were broken and the door was slightly off its bearings. Poe swallowed the lump in his throat as he walked towards it.

Poe remembered the last time he was here. Sat at the table with his father while they ate silently. He was off to the Navy the next day, he could tell his father didn’t like but he was in no position to tell him not to.

It was a dinner that Poe always regrets. Too many words left unspoken between the two. Poe made made his way to the backyard.

Perhaps he could change that now.

The little tree he grew up with now engulfed the backyard. He smiled as he walked towards it. He never felt as connected to the Force as he did when he was here. When Finn told him he was force sensitive he remembers feeling kind of jealous. Here he was, someone who grew up with a piece of The Great Tree planted in his backyard and he felt nothing most of the time.

Maybe it was retribution for the time when he almost killed it. Almost.

He remembered how mad his father was when he explained what happened. Poe was mad at himself; it was one of the only things either of them had left from his mother and he almost let it go up in flames because he was being a stupid teenager.

He nursed it back to health though, long nights spent making sure it was getting the nutrients it needed. It came back strong and Poe was proud of himself.

Back in the present, he sat with his back leaned against the trunk as he looked up and admired the branches. The leaves hung from the illuminated branches as the wind blew through them, which made a soothing sound that Poe closed his eyes and listened to.

He took in a deep breath and just let the air into his lungs. Everything in this moment felt so clear.

He opened his eyes again and focused them ahead. The darkness of the treeline would’ve unsettled him at any other moment, but not right now.

He grabbed his mother’s ring that was placed around his neck at all times and started to play with it around his fingers.

He took another deep breath “Hiya ma,” he said. He spoke into the ring, “It’s been a while since I’ve been home. Sorry about that. Things got kind of busy,” he finished.

Tears he’d been holding in for months started he prickle at his eyes. He let them fall.

“It’s good to be home after everything,” he continued, “I get why you and dad left when you did,” he took one of his hands and started to pick at the dirt at the base of the tree, he thumbed the smooth surface. It felt cool on his rough fingers.

“I, uh, seem to be in charge now of...everything. The rebuilding process. I’m now working alongside people who once were my superiors,” he stopped and smiled, “the same people who I’m pretty sure wanted me out of the navy.”

His face turned serious, he brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them, “the truth is I just don’t know what to do, ma. I can’t stop looking over my shoulder, thinking that this is all going to be taken away again some day. All this work we’re doing to rebuild will just be gone in an instant.”

Now he thought about his friends, the one he’s lost, “I’ve had to bury so many people I’ve needed by my side because of this war. Snap. Iolo,” he paused, struggling to get the next name to come out, “Leia.”

Poe continued, “It hurt a lot when I-we lost her. Then she gave me all this responsibility. One last command and it was naming me general. I don’t know why she thought that was a good idea, I’m no leader without her.”

His frown grew deeper as he tried to steady his breathing.

“I wish you were here, ma. I wish you could see what we’re doing. What we’ve done. I feel so scared without you and dad and Leia. I don’t know who to talk to.”

Well, there was one person he could talk to. The one person who’s saved his life on more than one occasion. Who’s now by his side as they work through getting the galaxy back to whatever order it had been in the first place.

His heart leapt, “I wish you were here to meet Finn. He’s just...amazing,” he took in a breath, “and I don’t know what to do about it.”

In all the madness Poe was able to keep his feelings towards Finn at bay. Or at least he thought he was. It was a slippery slope, as it always was, and the last thing he wanted was to overstep. Finn was a good man and too important to Poe to lose.

He shook his head as if to clear it, “I just miss you,” he said.

He let his mind drift to everything that’s been done the past months. And he tells it all out loud to the tree. To his mom.

He talks until his throat was hoarse and he’s in desperate need of water. Before long he’s yawning and his eyelids become heavy.

He falls asleep under the tree. He sleeps the best he has in months.

He wakes to the sun beating down on him, sweat on his forehead. He stretches and groans as various parts of his body of his back crack.

He faced his home again and looked around. He still hadn’t seen anyone around. He guessed this neighborhood was mostly abandoned now then. It’s very daunting to live so close to a tree as grand as this one, he thought.

He walked to the door of his home and entered.

Everything was practically the same, except for the empty walls and shelves. Memories of him playing in the front room with makeshift action figures flooded his brain. The kitchen table still had plates set, he ran a hand over them, his fingers coated in dust.

There was a broom by the door, Poe picked it up and started to sweep.

Before he knew it the sun was down again. Poe panted as he looked around the upper level. He evidently spent the entire day just cleaning his childhood home.

He laughed to himself, his quarters back on Naboo were a mess, if only Finn could see him now.

He looked out the window towards the tree. It once again illuminated the yard. It swayed lightly, although Poe noticed that not one tree around it moved. He grinned, “The force in full effect,” he mused.

Like the night before, he slept on the ground, this time he brought a blanket he found in his home. He felt safer than he had in months.

Poe could swear that sometime during the night he felt a branch from the tree come down and gently press against his face, but he thought nothing of it come morning.

In the morning, after another talk under the branches of the tree he started to pack up. He elected to take the blanket with him, a reminder of home.

He looked at his house one more time. It looked brighter than it had been when he first saw it two nights ago. He smiled as he gently touched the ring around his neck once more.

He then turned to the tree and put a hand on the bark. “Thank you,” he said as he tapped it in appreciation.

The flight back to Naboo didn’t seem to take as long as he thought and he was there just as night was falling on the busiling planet.

He entered the dock bay and landed his ship. He closed his eyes for a moment as he remained in the cockpit.

He finally emerged from his ship and hopped down onto the ground.

“General Dameron!” a voice greeted.

Poe turned to see Rose walking towards him. He gave her a smile.

“How was your...trip?” she asked, she had a tint in her eyes that was full of curiosity, obviously trying to figure out where Poe had went.

“It was good. I-uh went home. To Yavin 4. Had to talk out some things,” he explained.

Rose studied him and after a moment nodded her head. He could tell she wanted to ask further but bit her tounge. Poe was grateful.

“Where’s Finn?” he asked.

Rose’s expression suddenly changed to a knowing look that she quickly tried to mask with indifference, “He’s in a meeting. Which is the only thing that has gotten him out of this room since you left by the way,” she said.

Poe cleared his throat in an attempt to not let that get to him, “Thank you. I’ll be sure to let him know I returned as soon as possible,”

“Your X-Wing isn’t exactly quiet, General, he probably already knows,” Rose mused.

Poe laughed as he gathered his things and started to walk past Rose and towards his quarters.

“General Dameron....Poe,” Rose said, gaining back his attention, “You know you don’t have to fight these things alone. Finn and I...we’re here for you.”

The earnest tone behind her words almost floored Poe. He knew she was right, but hearing it out loud was a whole other layer in all this.

He just nodded his head and gave her a small smile as he turned to continue walking.

He sat on his bed, new blanket spread out across his old sheets. He reflected on everything he said under the tree back home and the words Rose told him when he landed.

A knock on his door disrupted him. He smiled, “Come in.”

Finn pushed opened the door and the two looked at each other. Finn looked like he was cross-examining him.

“You...feel better,” he said.

Poe wasn’t sure if it was a question or an observation but he nodded his head.

“Where’s that blanket from?” Finn asked.

Poe stood from his bed, “Tell you all about it over dinner. I’m starving,” he said as her rubbed his hands together.

Finn just followed him down the hallway to the kitchen and Poe explained everything.

Well, most things.

For the first time since Poe started this journey on Naboo, he felt relieved.

He did belong here; right here and now.

His mother’s ring hung lightly on his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> I love one (1) man so I must make him as sad as possible at all times.
> 
> I just love writing in his POV honestly; I hope you all enjoyed!
> 
> Title from two songs of the same name "Runaway" by half•alive and AURORA. Two different vibes about the same concept which is, tbh, how Poe probably feels after all this is done huh.


End file.
